Warning: Pissy little rant to follow.  You don't like it?  Go away.

I'm taking a break from JU.  Lately it seems like I log in, poke around and find little of interest, seeing that I am not into gaming, skinning, arguments about which O/S is best, or the endless repetition of various jesus-freaks that pollute these forums, no longer content to confine their bigoted screeds to the religion section.

Christ-on-a-pony, the most exciting thing that's happened around here lately (or at least since my expose on 'Gilligan') was the appearance of a new 'stalker' on my threads--and we were so delighted about it that Tova's article in regards to this newcomer (and my knack for attracting such oddballs)  has generated almost 200 comments as of this writing.

The new format is 'ok.'  Just 'ok.'  I won't use, nor did I need or desire many of the new features, and I find navigation awkward and cumbersome.  No forum summary.  A recent article list that has to be clicked through to get past the first ten entries.  A four-entry 'top blogs' list dominated by admins and jesus freaks.  A six entry 'top user' list that includes disgraced and discredited bloggers who no longer blog here at all (Gideon), bloggers who rarely post anymore (Modman) two more admins, myself and Dr G.  Big Whoop.  I'm also annoyed that a feature many of us have asked for over the years, an 'ignore user' feature, was once again left out of the 'latest, greatest, version of JU.'

Many who I used to enjoy reading and interacting with have either gone away entirely or hardly ever show up anymore, (oh Bakerstreet, kingbee, stevendedalus, PB, meg, Dylan...where are you?) and previously prolific contributors (dharma, brandie, tova, loca, donna, joe, elie, etc...--and I know I'm missing a lot of people I should be mentioning here, but there's no freakin' LIST that I can scan anymore, is there) aren't posting often or passionately.

Are we all suffering from the same doldrums or is it just me?

Sighs...

Anyway, things are still shiite on the homefront, the local job Simon was hoping for was offered to someone with less experience (and lower pay, of course) and we've still had no word from the company in Big Stone Gap.  Simon continues to put applications in and send resumes out.  I cannot pay another month's cable bill, so when this one comes due we'll have no choice but to let it all shut down...this includes the telephone and tv, we're locked into a two-year contract with Comcast that we can't get out of without losing our current phone #.  Bye-bye to hundreds of resumes that are floating around out there with this contact information on them.  And fuck you, Comcast.

We've been going over the Cougar with rubbing compound and turtle wax, getting it all shiny for sale.  Bye-bye, ya Beast, you've been a good car but we need the money.  My lumpy hand continues to bother me and now I think I'm passing a kidney stone or something too, I've had a horrible stabbing pain in my left flank for weeks now, and it's begun to increase in both frequency and intensity.  I see the hand doc tomorrow, and will update on this thread as appropriate.  I continue to battle simultaneous nausea (from the chemo) and ravenous hunger (from the prednisone) almost daily and the manic pony has only been sticking her head out long enough to bite someone else's off, (usually my poor Husband's.)   She then retreats and the blues come down in a dark cloud of apathy again, apathy punctured by nothing but anger and rage.

I'm so depressed that even those sad old songs don't make me cry anymore.  Top Chef and Idiot Model Marathons fill my day and extra sleeping pills are taken at 6:00 PM just to escape, escape, escape another tense and tedious evening with a man who's just as close to edge as I am...maybe closer.

I used to escape into the pages of JU...where have you gone, JU?  The passionate people who made up your heart and soul have one by one drifted away.  Perhaps it's time I wander off as well...

...and catch up on my email, hehehe.  That ought to keep me busy for a couple of months.

Time for a break, folks.  Maybe a week...a month...or a few.  This isn't a goodbye thread, it's just a piss-n-moan (and you can't say you weren't warned) and an explanation of my intent.  When I cruise the forums and end up more aggravated than pleased, and this continues for weeks at a time, I know it's time to step away for a bit.  I'll answer comments here and update after my doc's appointment tomorrow, but don't look for anything new from me in the near future.  I'm burnt out, bored, and disgusted...with life, unemployment, sickness, and JU.

To hell with it.