Yes, folks, it's true.  Or it isn't.  (And if it isn't true, then I've been libeled by the same person who is arguing about libel with Ock and Mari. http://forums.joeuser.com/310858.)

Lately we've had a couple of new bloggers making their presence known in JU, one seems truly new (erathoniel) and one's been around a while on the gaming forums, but must have been attracted here by the new and improved cross-posting system recently implemented by the JU Gods.  (All the Gods are Dead. Long Live the Gods.)  He's recently changed his name from cscoles to 'SlyDrivel.'  Sly?  Not even close.  Drivel?  I have no idea because I don't read gaming entries. 

Anyway, his first article under his new moniker was all about me!  (see external link above.)  He was  responding to something I'd said to  Zoomba in regards to what 'crosses the line' in regards to normal forum bickering and ventures into behavior that could result in being exiled from this community.  One of the items he listed was--

"Using real life information to harass or go after users beyond the walls of this site."

Here is my response to him.

I gotta take issue with this one, I really do. First of all, what happens outside of JU should not be of concern to JU. Some of us know each other in real life, others have voluntarily given up information about themselves (like mailing addresses, where they work, etc.) to people they later had fallings out with.

On three (and only three) occasions I have considered taking action outside of JU due to things I learned about people *in* JU.

1) A good friend was so depressed I feared she was considering suicide. I ended up contacting no outside authority, but I did let her know that I was considering it for the sake of her young children...and for her own safety because I love her very much. Thank God it never became necessary, but I would have done so if the situation continued and she understands why.

2) A certain teacher we all know was falling apart at the seams, having mental breakdowns right here on these forums for all to see. I was able to determine (from information she freely supplied for all to see) what school district she worked for, and I was tempted to forward some of her more bizarre blog entries to her employer. I truly feared for the safety and well being of the children in her charge. Again, I let her know of my intentions and gave her a chance to seek help on her own, which she did. I never did contact her employer, but if I had continued to witness this deterioration much longer, I certainly would have.

3) The only time I EVER interfered in someone's 'real life' was earlier this year when it became apparant that a certain fat and stinking fish was certainly neglecting his large family (at best) and quite possibly subjecting them to abuse, squalor, medical neglect, an inadequate diet, little education, and a total absence of normal hygienic practices involving soap and water. When provided with what *I* felt to be adequate evidence, I did make a few phone calls to Child Protective Services. My conscience required it, TOU be damned.

The fish, of course, cried 'harrassment' and 'stalking' even though he himself provided me with his new address...KNOWING that I would make this call. (He knew because I told him I would. He still gave me the address.)

What I do after I hit that little red x in the corner, (closing JU) is my business. Just as you admins seem to feel this fish has the right to his 'privacy'...do those of us concerned about certain situations not have the same right?

~

One time, ONE TIME in my four years here have I taken steps outside of JU in regards to another blogger's personal life, although I have considered it on three seperate occasions.

In each case, children were involved.  In one case, a woman  I dearly loved then (and dearly love now) was in crisis, we were in communication with each other almost daily via MSN messenger, and I was heartbroken when I thought she might just end it all.  I thank God that I never had to involve anyone else, and I thank God that I was able to convince another blogger, (one whose help was not wanted nor appreciated) from interfering any further than she had already done, after she had contacted this blogger's husband without her consent or knowledge.

I won't name her, or the others mentioned above, but the happy ending was *very* happy, (it took some time, but it all worked out and I'm so very proud of her and feel privileged to call her my friend.)  But I'll never deny the fact that if and when I really thought she was going to do something to hurt herself, I'd have done what I had to do to stop it.

If you call that 'stalking', Mr. Drivel, fine with me.  I call it love.

The second case mentioned above won't be gotten into in any more detail here, but again, it was the children in her charge I was concerned about....moreso than the blogger in question, who I had lost patience with. She knew she had emotional and mental issues requiring medication, yet had quit taking her meds and was refusing to even recognize that her symptoms had returned.  She was teaching little kids,  not teenagers, *little* kids.  And the things she was saying about them (and their parents) was alarming.

I took no action in this instance, but I did let her know privately that if she didn't get her ass back to the doctor that I would forward some of her more shocking displays here to her employer and let THEM be the judge of her fitness as a teacher.

She took a break from JU (at admins request, because her behavior was going to lead to her involuntary exile if she didn't leave voluntarily) and when she returned, she was back on her meds, feeling better, and actually thanked me for my 'tough love.'

You might call that stalking, Mr. Drivel.  I call it love.  Love for children.  Powerless children who do not have a voice of their own.  I suppose I should have ignored the situation and allowed her mental illness to affect these kids in ways I can't even imagine, but I'm not like that.  I am a stalker.

In the final episode mentioned above...well, we needn't say anything more about the particulars because so many of you were involved in it yourself, we all saw the evidence with our own eyes, and quite a few of us made phone calls to CPS on behalf of those children.

I suppose Mr. Drivel would turn a blind eye to 6 children living in absolute squalor and poverty while daddy wasted his days away at the library, posting thousands of articles here, a good portion of them little more than instructions to other abusive or neglectful parents in regards to how to avoid being investigated by Child Protective Services.  Fark those kids, right?  They aren't your responsibility, right?  None of your business, right?

Now...'Daddy' called it stalking and harrassment, but I have in my possesion an email from him in which he gave me his address and invited me to call whatever authorities I felt I needed to because he admitted he had a problem, and claimed he was willing to accept help, for his own sake and that of his kids.

Mr. Drivel has taken that one line:

...and passed all sorts of judgement upon me, not knowing the full story even though a little digging in my old articles would have enlightened him.  (Hint: Look for one about gutting fish. I will not link it here.)

So now Mr. Drivel offers this 'sage' advice:

Recently, there has been a surge of activity regarding respecting JU member's privacy. I think the reason this problem exists is that members of this community think that it is safe to give out personal information here. Don't believe that for one second.

I have found an admitted case of an internet stalker. As you read this, keep in mind that even villians believe themselves to be heros. Would you want someone on the internet interfereing with your life?

"little-whip" is an internet stalker. He is why you do not give out personal information on the internet. And he is not the only one.

So what I consider love and concern for friends and children, he considers 'stalking.'  Interesting.  Interesting and wrong.

In general, it *is* wise to keep the personal information you share on the internet to a minimum, especially if you tend to be a jerk and spend your days just looking for ways to piss people off.

But if you're a good judge of character, if you don't live your life in fear, if you'd say to the face of those you interact with here the same things you say on the forums, if you are real, and not presenting yourself as something you're not, then much can be gained by selectively sharing this information with those you find worthy of your trust.

I won't say that this trust may someday be betrayed, but that's not limited to the internet.  Anyone could betray your trust, a family member, friend, coworker, neighbor, or some creepy jerk that follows you home from the grocery store.

Haha, I met my current Husband online, I'd have never met Him if I followed Mr. Drivel's advice.  Sometime this summer, I'm going to meet Ock (and hopefully Mari, too) when he arrives in Norfolk, and if we're VERY lucky I may even have a lifelong dream fulfilled and get to spend some time on a kick-ass aircraft carrier, hopefully while enjoying some musical entertainment by the above mentioned friend.  (And for the first time in my life get to say, 'I'm with the band', hahaha.)

In our time of need these past 6 months or so when Simon was unemployed, I was deluged with financial assistance from those I've shared my personal information with. 

In addition, I've recieved packages from people all over the world, everything from some totally delicious Macadamia Nut Honey wine from Hawaii, a chef's knife from Australia, a kick ass book (The Boomer Bible) and some exotic liquors from Italy, a selection of teas, coffee, and homemade cookies from Washington State, battery powered socks to keep my ever-freezing feet warm, a homemade scarf knitted by a grizzly trucker, air purifiers and home roasted coffee and mugs and refrigerator magnets and homemade bookmarks and yankee candles and a portable washing machine and man I just can't even list 'em all so if you've sent me something and I forgot to list it here please forgive me!

More importantly, though, I've found friendship and love.  (And a wonderful Husband!)

I've found people who restore my faith in humanity when it's been at its lowest point.  I've met quite a few online friends face-to-face, (though not many from JU, but that's gonna change this fall becaues I am plannig a trip to California to see Elie, and if I can arrange it, will spend a few days laid over in TEXAS to see a whole bunch of you (Brandie, Loca, Shovel?) if you can make yourselves available when I'm there.

And as always, any of you coming to the Richmond area are welcome in MY home.

So, Mr. Drivel, keep your secrets secret, by all means. Live in fear, let paranoia guide your actions.  That's your choice.  Me?  I've lived with the devil already, and having survived that, have little to fear in the way of 'stalkers.'

As for myself, I'll just keep on keeping on, the way I always have. My life has been much enriched by the real people who sit behind these keyboards.

But make no mistake. If I come to believe someone is hurting children (or animals, for that matter) I'll use every means at my disposal to be a voice for the voiceless.  It that's stalking, then I'll proudly wear that label.